Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
