My hair reeks of homosexuality.
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
