So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
