Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
id be glad to
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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