he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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