I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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