Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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