I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
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