Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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