did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
