we have officially lost it.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
You've changed since you got that strap on
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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