Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.

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(514): View more from Quebec

i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.

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(908): View more from New Jersey

I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.

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(919): View more from North Carolina

I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer

(919): View more from North Carolina

Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can

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(407): View more from Florida

Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon

(407): View more from Florida

Covered in confetti and bad decisions

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.

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(503): View more from Oregon

Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.

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