why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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