Got a toothbrush?
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
She tied me up with her honor cords...
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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