I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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