saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
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