when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Randomize
