The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Randomize
