:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Randomize
