i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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