Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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