You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
What a dumb baby whore.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
