I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
