he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
