My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
