i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
