My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize