this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I see more hoeing in ur future
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