i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
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