I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
