it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
