i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
