sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Randomize
