I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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