Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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