i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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