Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
