yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
