I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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