Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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