Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
