There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
