I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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