This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
