you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Randomize
