How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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