just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
The feeling are messing with the penis
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
