He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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