you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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