he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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