Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
