Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize