He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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