My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
