Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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