Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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