no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
