Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
