i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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