remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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