Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
