Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
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