i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
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