I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
