I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
