I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
