Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
