4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
