i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize