you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
we're making bets on your personal life
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
