"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
