he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Randomize